You know the expression “April showers bring May flowers”? I really hope that it is true in all aspects of life and not just the weather. April was a rough month. The worst thing about it is it wasn’t just rough for me, it seemed to be rough for a lot of people around me as well. I tend to carry other people’s worries on me, so those on top of my own weighed me down a lot this past month.
So, what exactly went on in my life? A lot of the negativity that surrounded this past month is personal. I had to say goodbye to my precious Buddy and letting him go was one of the hardest things I have had to do in a really long time. I was already feeling a sense of loneliness recently and losing my pup made it 1000x worse. There is a close family member who has had some major health issues with two unexpected, highly-potential surgeries that were discovered in the past month. I myself had to go to the doctor twice for something that gave my paranoid brain a pretty big scare. I found a spot on my breast, and with both my paternal and maternal grandmother battling breast cancer in the past I keep a close eye on myself when it comes to that in particular. What made my paranoia grow is that my doctor couldn’t give me an answer to what exactly is was/is. I was put on antibiotics, and it seems to be helping, but I still have to keep an eye out and if it’s still there in two weeks I have to go in for further testing. All of this craziness hit at the “perfect” timing right before finals week as well.
This past month was a huge struggle. My positivity and optimistic outlook were challenged every single day and for a while, I wasn’t sure if it would overcome. Throughout all the badness, I was able to come out with quite a few takeaways.
1. I am really proud of myself for finishing school strong and not giving up. It would have been really easy to just do the bare minimum, but I stuck to my goal of not missing a class (except for when I was at a conference) and trying my best.
2. You are stronger than you think, and you will realize that when said strength is tested.
3. It’s not always reliable to trust other people to lift you up. Sometimes you have to lift yourself up by trusting in God.
4. It’s okay to say goodbye.
5. Setbacks are only saving you for something better to happen.
Hopefully, the May flowers are beautiful and bright for everyone who was drenched in the downpour of April showers.